Hey, Wheelchair Teen readers, it’s been a while but I’m finally back. A lot has been going on lately: school ended, I lost quite a lot of files from my laptop after it experienced a software issue which meant that it had to be professionally wiped, and I’ve also gone through quite a few mental struggles:
As a child, I struggled to come to terms with the fact that I was disabled. However, when I started secondary school, I learned to accept my disability and have accepted it ever since. Of course, I had some difficult times with it, but I assumed that accepting my disability was a hurdle that I was well and truly over.
This past month I’ve had to learn that even after you’ve conquered your demons and have lived for years without them – they can still come back and haunt you. Recently, I’ve been struggling with coming to terms with the fact that I’m disabled again. It came out of nowhere and hit me unexpectantly hard. I’ve been finding it increasingly difficult to feel comfortable with my own body and love myself – I sometimes feel like clawing at my own skin and stepping out of my body, and it’s been driving me crazy. All it takes is seeing someone walk down the street, or seeing my sister jogging, to make me burst out crying in jealousy and to start hating myself.
I’ve decided to go back to seeing a psychologist again and I finally feel ready to talk about it and continue doing these blog posts. It just felt wrong to give advice and encouragements to other people to be open-minded and stay strong when I was struggling so much myself. I’m very excited to get back to blogging though: to get back to sharing my story and to get back to the incredibly positive and supportive blogging community. I hope that everyone reading realises that I’m not a hero or a perfect figurehead for the young, disabled community. I mess up and fail sometimes too, which I hope makes my story even more honest. I have a lot of exciting blog ideas planned which I hope that you guys will like. Thank you so much for sticking by me and waiting this long. It means the world.
I’m happy to finally be able to say: see you next week!