Things That Disabled People Always Hear

Posted in Thinking out Loud
Me in my wheelchair

When you’re a disabled person like me, there are certain things that able-bodied people always say to you. I’ve only been a wheelchair-user for six years and I already feel as if I’ve heard it all thousands of times before. Because I’m black, I don’t only hear the things that disabled people frequently do, I also hear things that black people often do too. Here are all of the things that I constantly hear from able-bodied people, as well as the things that they frequently do when they see me:

.

Twelve Things Able-Bodied People Always Say

1. Unoriginal Jokes

Picture of an annoyed person by RobinHiggins via Pixabay.com

Unoriginal jokes are things that you will probably hear a lot as a wheelchair-user. The type of joke seems to depend on where you are: I often hear American wheelchair-users talk about people saying: “I hope you got a licence for that thing!” to them in a jokey manner when they see them rolling past. From most Brits, I hear them getting annoyed by people constantly saying: “Ooh, I hope you don’t run me over!” also in a light-hearted way. I know that people who say things like this don’t mean any harm so I don’t take offence to it, just know that if you’re planning on saying something like this to a wheelchair-user – they’ve most likely heard it hundreds of times before.

2. Express Pity

Sometimes people approach me and say that they feel sorry for me. They must be people who have been told that living with a disability instantly means that your life is miserable, but I’m usually having a great day and am extremely enjoying going out for a walk in my wheelchair when people come up to me and express pity. Once, an old man came up to me and said that he wished that I wasn’t the way that I was but there was nothing that could be done about it. Did he seriously think that was news to me? And he needn’t have wished that – I’m perfectly fine with the way that I am.

3. They Talk About Me to My Face

This happens a lot. Strangers occasionally speak about me in Dutch to each other while I’m well-within earshot, probably because I’m black and they assume that I can’t understand Dutch. I often hear: “Oh, there goes that girl again.” “Yes, I’ve seen her around here.” “Where do you think that she’s going?” “What do you suppose happened to her?” Sometimes it amuses me, sometimes it annoys me. I always feel like turning around and saying: “Why don’t you just ask me?” in Dutch to surprise them but I’m too shy to. It doesn’t matter which language it’s in though, I’ve heard wheelchair-users being frustrated by people talking about them to their faces all over the world.

4. “You Should Get a…”

Cartoon of a wheelchair with an umbrella attached created by me

From adults, I hear them suggesting fun attachments that I should add to my wheelchair (as a joke). They say things like: “Wouldn’t it be cool if you could attach rocket boosters to the back?” “You should add a built-in cup-holder to your wheelchair!” or “It would be so cool if you could attach an umbrella to your chair.” I hear this one a lot, especially from all of the teachers at school. It’s probably the unoriginal joke that I hear the most, it’s just funny how it’s always presented as a genius, innovative idea. I remember when my school received their first disabled teacher. One of the first things that were said to him was: “Wouldn’t it be cool if you could attach a cup holder to your chair?” All that I could do was silently wish him good luck.

5. They Ask Me If I Need Help

This one is completely fine. I’d rather that people ask me if I need help with something instead of just taking whatever I’m doing from me and finishing it. I mentioned before on my blog how, a few years ago, I had to wrestle my lunchbox from a woman who was trying to grab it and open it for me. A simple: “Do you need help with that?” would have sufficed. Sometimes it’s strange when I’m doing ordinary things like reading on a bench or looking at the sky and people come up to me and ask if I need help – but I’m not bothered by it, I know that it’s only people trying to be polite. And asking for help is often how people start conversations with me. Maybe it’s just an easier way for them to approach someone like me? Who knows.

6. “What Happened?”

This question is inevitable for almost all physically disabled people. I have no problems with answering, I just feel as if I’m letting people down when I say that I was simply born this way. It feels as if most of them are expecting a long backstory about some huge and traumatic event. They seem to ‘enjoy’ my backstory more when I tell them that I used to be able-bodied but my condition gradually worsened. I think that disability is easier for people to swallow when they know that the disabled person used to be like them before they turned out the way that they are – I don’t know why, maybe because they feel that it’s something that could’ve happened to them that way.  

7. They Call Me a Hero

Picture of a hero in a wheelchair by cottonbro via Pexels.com

Complete random strangers have approached me and called me strong, a hero, or their inspiration. But they don’t even know me! And most of the time I’m simply reading or thinking on a bench – not very inspiring activities. I explained in my post inspiration porn vs. actual inspiring people (https://thewheelchairteen.home.blog/2020/02/03/inspiration-porn-vs-actual-inspiring-people/) why this is problematic, but to paraphrase myself: “It was probably because they had grown up being taught that having a disability was terrible and therefore simply waking up in the morning and going about your daily life with one makes you extraordinary; that to be disabled and merely exist made you a hero of epic proportions. And for some rare cases, I’m sure that this is true, but you’d be surprised how many of us are living the same life as everyone else only with some extra tools to help us out where our bodies may differ from others.”

8. They Sing ‘Ridin’

It sounds crazy, but quite frequently I hear people singing the song Ridin’ at me. It’s so weird – all I do is roll down the street and complete strangers start singing it to me. For those of you who don’t know, Ridin’ is a Gangsta Rap song released in 2006 by Chamillionaire and Krayzie Bone. Until I looked it up for this blog post, I’d never actually heard the track. All I knew is that it had the words: “they see me rollin’, they hating,” in it, and that’s what people (usually young people) sing when I pass them.

I once passed a bunch of (drunk-looking) teenage boys who were hanging out in a children’s park. As I passed them, they all sang the song at the top of their lungs at me. Whether it was to cheer me on or show me some kind of solidarity, I don’t know. I was only fifteen at the time so I simply kept my head down and hurried along on my way just to be on the safe side.

9. They Ask Where I’m From

Cartoon of a black girl in a wheelchair created by me

The thing that strangers say to me the most is: “Where are you from?” Most of the time, they assume: I’ve heard everything from Congo to Ethiopia and Suriname. When I tell them where I’m actually from (England) they don’t believe me. They ask: “But where were you born?” “Where are your parents from?” “What country’s on your passport?” and sometimes even “But then how comes your black?” Because I’m in the Netherlands, I think that it’s harder for people over here to understand that there are black people in England. But if you’ve ever been there, you know that a black person is not an uncommon thing to see in London. It’s an unfortunate side-effect of living in a predominantly white country.

10. They Don’t Address Me

Able-bodied people are occasionally made uncomfortable by me. They therefore address whoever’s with me instead of speaking to me, even if they’re talking about me. My mother has to constantly remind staff at museums or airports to address me directly when they ask things like: “Can she walk down stairs?” I like to push myself in my wheelchair when I go outside because I enjoy the exercise. While I was taking a walk with one of my friends, someone once stopped biking to approach us and tell my friend off: “Can’t you see that she’s struggling? Pay attention and push her!” It put my friend in a really awkward situation since she was shy and bad with confrontations. I don’t think that it occurred to that person that I had a voice of my own to speak up with if I did need help. The sad truth is that people sometimes disregard my voice and my opinions because of who I am.

11. “Can I Touch Your Hair?”

Me with my afro 🙂

This is another side-effect of living in the Netherlands – quite a few people have never seen natural black hair before. For the first time two years ago, I decided to go around for a few months with my natural afro instead of plaiting my hair. The result was lots of people asking to touch my hair, or simply touching it without my permission. Although, if you asked my opinion, I largely prefer being made to feel different for being black instead of for being disabled – but neither are pleasant. It’s not just my hair: I often get mistaken for a man. People biking past yell out: “Hoi, meneer!” (Dutch for: Hello Mister). My friends at school used to call me Caveman because of my big nose and apparently man-ish looking face. Or they called me Medusa because of my plaits (braids). Once again, I’d rather be called Caveman than deformed or a cripple.

12. Parents Tell Their Children To Stay Away

Children are naturally curious so they often try to approach me and ask me questions. I love answering questions from children because it helps to educate them about disabled people. However, parents get embarrassed by their children asking questions – which I understand. Most of them apologise profusely, but I always tell them that I don’t mind it. Some parents even pull their children away from me if their kids start walking in my direction, which upsets me.

Image of a parent walking with their child by Guillaume de Germain via Unsplash.com

One day, I was rolling around the park and a child asked what I was doing. Their parent replied that I was going on a walk because it was healthy to be around nature. It was a good guess, but that wasn’t actually what I was doing there. In that case, it would have been better to ask me instead of just guessing. I’ve also heard misinformation happen in this way: Children ask questions about my condition and parents guess and tell their children things that aren’t true like I was in an accident, for example. To avoid presenting incorrect guesses to your children as facts, my advice to all parents would be to ask the disabled person themselves. They may not always be willing to share but you shouldn’t be scared to ask, we’re not scary monsters – we won’t bite. 😊

.

What Able-Bodied People Do When They See Me

What people do when they see me is easy, they either:

  • Look away because I make them uncomfortable
  • Point (I hate when this happens, it makes me feel like an animal in a zoo)
  • Run away scared (little children are sometimes afraid of my electric wheelchair and run away from me crying which makes me feel terrible. This can also happen with fairly old children, around ten is the oldest that I’ve seen scared of me)
  • Smile (Yay!)
  • Stare (I used to feel extremely self-conscious. When you’re a teenager, everyone experiences things like spots and bad hair days – but they would be awful for me because I knew that, no matter what, people would be looking; they simply always are. Staring is usually bearable, unless I’m having a horrible day and I’m visibly fed up and I just can’t take the eyes anymore)
A picture of me smiling 😊

That’s it from me! I didn’t tell you these things to sound critical of the people that I interact with – I just wanted to put you in my shoes by showing you the typical things that I hear while I’m out and about. If you feel uncomfortable around disabled people and don’t know what to say to them, I recommend reading my short Talking to Someone in a Wheelchair Dos and Don’ts post for some tips to help you relax when you address wheelchair-users: https://thewheelchairteen.home.blog/2019/12/02/talking-to-someone-in-a-wheelchair-dos-and-donts/

I hope you enjoyed this post and that you learned something from it! If you’re disabled – I hope that you were able to relate. If you have any questions for me, don’t hesitate to ask them. See you next week!

Published by The Wheelchair Teen

I am a black, disabled teenager and my blog shares my personal experiences, some of the struggles and triumphs I’ve been through, as well as posts that educate people about disabilities to help end discrimination against disabled people.

76 thoughts on “Things That Disabled People Always Hear”

  2. “I always feel like turning around and saying: “Why don’t you just ask me?” in Dutch to surprise them but I’m too shy to.”
    I’m shy too and I always tend to avoid confrontations if I can, but sometimes I simply can’t take something anymore and I HAVE to respond. I know it wouldn’t probably change much in your case, since the next person would be likely to make the same mistake, but I hope you’ll muster the courage to do that one day! If they can’t mind their own business, they should at least avoid thinking out loud.

    “My friends at school used to call me Caveman because of my big nose and apparently man-ish looking face. Or they called me Medusa because of my plaits (braids). Once again, I’d rather be called Caveman than deformed or a cripple.”
    Yikes. I understand where you’re coming from, but Caveman? really? Your face is perfectly fine as it is, and you don’t look like a boy at all – but even if you did…what’s wrong with those people?

    I love your attitude towards children – and people in general. You could have grown to become bitter and resentful, given some people’s attitude, but you always try to do your best and to educate them. Please never change 💛.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. I hope that one day I’ll be brave enough, it might not do much to stop the next person who says it, but maybe it would stop them from doing the same to another disabled person. Thanks, I think that ‘caveman’ was mostly meant as a joke but it wasn’t until later on in my life that I realised that it was actually pretty bad. Thank you – for a little while I was actually quite bitter when I had my mental struggles a few months back and I couldn’t even see people running without getting emotional. It made all of this stuff ten times worse – but eventually I realised that there wasn’t much point in being so upset about it, people will be people; the best thing that I can do is be patient and try to educate them with posts like this. Everything in this post is pretty much my daily life which is something that I’ve learned to accept over time (I won’t stop fighting to change it though). Hopefully my efforts will pay off and it’ll be different in the future. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

    1. Thank you! I’m happy that people where you are try to be kind. To be fair, most people here are also mostly kind, it’s just their ignorance of disabled people that can cause them to (I’m sure that it’s unintentionaly) be a little rude. Thank you for reading! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. Simone, this post could have been written by my late quadriplegic husband, except for “Ridin'” which came out after his death in 2003! This is very well-written and I hope it increases awareness. I have no advice for you…you seem to handle yourself extremely well! ❤

    I like your photos. You are a very pretty girl, whatever the hairstyle. 🙂

    Have a great week!

    Cheryl

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much, Cheryl ❤ I'm sure that you and your family were probably able to relate to a lot of these. I hope that it increases awareness too – and thank you for calling me pretty. I really enjoyed wearing that afro! I hope that you have a fabulous week too! 🙂

      Like

      Reply

  6. By the way, Simone, please have a look at my blog, it might offer a distraction. I read a lot in our press and on the news about people who do amazing, selfless things for others or animals. Yesterday, there was a story about a young boy who developed a life-threatening blood disorder. 10,000 thousand people queued to give blood to find a donor of stem cells needed. He is now nine months free of cancer and it was his first day at school. Among the thousands of volunteers, there were some black people. This can teach us more about human nature than some odd ignoramus.

    love,

    Joanna

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  7. Yes, a lot of these I get too. Minus the things you have to put up with because you’re black. But people often mistake me for a woman, because of my very slight build. And it doesn’t help that I don’t have much beard growth either.
    BTW, I don’t think you look like a guy at all. I think you’re a beautiful young lady, with a smile to die for. Don’t let stupid people ever wipe that smile off your face!

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much, Daankatz. That really means a lot – I promise to keep smiling ❤ It's cool that you were able to relate to a lot of it; you probably understand more than most the struggles that I face while out and about in my chair. Thanks for reading and commenting, I really appreciate it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  9. I’ll never understand why it’s so difficult for other people to be kind, refrain from making assumptions and take the initiative to educate themselves. As the partner of someone with a disability, I’m always learning new things. I am comfortable asking him questions and he’s more than happy to answer but I always frame things in a way that is respectful and compassionate. He has lived with his disability for all his life and frequently has people curious about his condition. He’s a very vibrant, lively sort though and people often forget he is unwell. Even I do sometimes. Although I guess I don’t really think about it. It’s more like “hey, this is my guy, this is him in all his glory!”

    Recently he told me about his ex girlfriend, Amy. He’s talked about her a lot lately. The two of them dated a while before him and I found each other but split up because her mom was so controlling. Amy had cerebral palsy and her mom wouldn’t leave her alone for more than a few minutes. She was always directing and looming over her. At Amy’s brother’s wedding, she forced her way in and chose the cake flavour, the flowers and the whole theme of the event! It had just become too much for him and he was sick of hearing about how he was stealing Amy. He ended up leaving because he didn’t want to drive a wedge between Amy and her mom as she’d have nobody to support her in the future. I asked him what it was like being partner to someone with a condition that is more restrictive than his. We are an interabled couple but him and Amy were a disabled couple. He told me it was very difficult and beyond a struggle.

    There definitely are hard days for us too though. Yesterday he was talking about covid and how, if he contracted the virus, god forbid, he wouldn’t be given priority at the hospital and would be written off and left to suffer. It’s things like that which really get to you- I know if I contracted the virus a high level of care would be extended to me. It’s just not fair. Whether you’re unwell or not, everybody wants to live and has other people that love and would miss them dearly.

    I’m so sorry about all the horrible things that were said to you. You are an absolutely radiant soul inside and out. Sending you so much love.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. I’ll never understand it either – people just don’t consider what it’s like to be the person on the opposite end of their assumptions and rudeness. I’m glad that your partner is happy to answer questions too, and that you’re compassionate when you ask them. I wished that the people that I met were liked that. Wow, that sounds like a difficult situation that your partner was in. It’s tough when your dating someone with a controlling parent because you never want to make them have to choose between their parent and you – so I can understand why he left her. Disabled couples can be hard too – sometimes it’s great because you both get each other and can both be a part of the community together, but sometimes it can be hard on the practical level. That fact about covid is crazy – it makes me upset how certain people don’t see as much value in disabled lives as they do in others. There was actually many stories during the pandemic of how doctors were turning off breathing machines for disabled people who got the virus because they saw no point in helping them. Thank you so much for the love and the kind words, I always enjoy reading your posts and comments xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Right! The way I see it, the real problem with asking someone with a disability about their condition is all in the way the question is posed. If it’s framed in a way that is tactful and displays respect, then that’s fine. My boyfriend has said that people like to sidestep and won’t always acknowledge him having a trache for fear of being rude. In reality, they want to know what happened- Was he in an accident? What does it feel like?

        No question is a stupid question but there’s a sure difference between curiosity and blatant ignorance!

        I’ve had similar questions. I know that he was born needing a trache and has had one for all but three years of his life. I’ve wondered how it works, what it feels like. His at home respirator set up is contained within this big trolley and connected to a kettle/humidifier sort of thing. I definitely wouldn’t have learnt this through the internet and my asking has brought us closer and improved my understanding. By the age of two he’d had twelve surgeries. Throughout primary and high school, many more surgeries. He’s had open heart, spinal surgery, lung surgery.. honestly, I don’t know the extent of it but I always feel so guilty that I’ve grown up pain free, happy and healthy. He just hasn’t had this experience at all. I often catch myself apologising when he talks about his life in the hospital because it pains me to think that my partner has been through so much. He’s even been considering medically dead three times. Whenever he speaks about his health journey though, there’s always an underlying sense of pride. He told me today that I shouldn’t be sad because his operations saved his life and made so much possible.

        I do agree! It would be a different dynamic for a disabled couple as you’d be on the same level and have certain life experiences that the other person knows intimately. It is just the practical side that makes things difficult, especially as couples age. Even those without a disability cannot care for themselves let alone another sufficiently in very old age.

        That is so terribly sad. What injustice. Every life is valuable and the doctors need only try to save those people. There just needs to be that intent, whether they are sure they can do it or not is beside the point. They can’t just be written off as if they are nothing.

        Thank you for our discussions Denise! They are truly eye opening and once again, I am so glad I came across your page. I so enjoy your posts and always come out the other side with a better understanding xx

        Hope you’re having a beautiful day 🥰❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Not my husband yet, I’m afraid! We’re just boyfriend and Girlfriend at the moment. He is American and I’m Australian. We were most worried about a change to the healthcare system in his country but those fears were alleviated with the election news. There is a God up there! x

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Great insights. People can be ignorant without thinking before they speak. My mum hated people staring when I took her out in her wheelchair. She felt so self concious.

    I agree too, speak to the person in the wheelchair. Physical disability doesn’t mean mental disability. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. Such a great post!! I’m not physically disabled but neurologically I guess (and my face has scars and wounds!), and I’ve had a few of these said to me (such as talking over me, rudely staring, pointing, talking about me while I’m near them but not to me). I had no idea some people were saying these other things to you such as making those unoriginal jokes about your wheelchair or sing that Ridin’ song (I’ve never heard it I think). I love that you have such a nice attitude towards children and teaching them something. Shame some of the parents aren’t as understanding as their children sometimes. Yes asking if you need help, that’s good. But taking it from you without asking if you need help, that’s very rude imo. I don’t understand white people touching a Black person’s hair… I mean, I’m white and I hate being touched by strangers (my autism).. consent is so important.. I would never touch another person’s hair without their permission (and have never done so). Like.. I don’t get it. Do these white people feel like they’re entitled to touch a Black person’s hair without permission, simply because they are white and you are Black? But then again, my theory of mind / social rules, is lacking, so.. maybe there are things I’m not seeing, I don’t know. With (me) learning about non-binary people and other genders than male and female in the past few years, I’m trying not to assume anyone’s gender unless they have told me or if online if their pronouns are in their bio or something. i’m sure if I had short hair some people might think I’m a man, because of what clothes I wear and such, but anyway (and my boyfriend has really long hair too, so if he shaved his beard off, people might think he’s female, I don’t know). I loved reading this post! And seeing the pictures and illustrations. You’re amazing, Simone!!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Thank you ❤ I'm sorry that you've experienced many of the same things. Invisible or neurological disabilities are still disabilities so it's understandable that you were able to relate so much, even though you're not exactly the same as me. I don't understand why white people do it either, I think that they just don't understand why it's so bad. They see something that they've never seen before [my afro], think that it'll probably feel nice, so they reach out and explore it without really thinking about the fact that it's attached to an actual person that doesn't feel like being touched by them. I love the fact that you're educating yourself – there's always more to learn. I'm also trying to educate myself more about native americans – I recently discovered that dreamcatchers and having 'a spirit animal' is cultural appropiation from my sister, so now I'm trying to learn more. I'm so happy that you loved reading this post and the images, thank you for always being such a huge support GaiaAthena ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  12. I hate it when people just assume what they don’t know for whatever reason. And staring is so rude. It’s so sweet to see the attitude you have towards children but I think your peers at school were being unreasonable. I think you look absolutely pretty with your natural afro!! I have a huge nose too and I could relate to being called a caveman. You have a wonderful personality, outlook and you are beautiful the way you are. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. You’re making a huge difference in the way we perceive disabled people and I highly appreciate that because I’m learning so much from you!Stay safe and happy!❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much! I’m really happy that you’ve learned something from my posts! That’s one of the main reasons why I write them, so I’m glad to see it paying off. Thank you for calling me pretty xxx big noses can be beautiful too so I’m happy that you have one too. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  13. This was funny because when you gave suggestions for this blog post I did sing ridin’ haha. I hate the staring and pointing ones a lot, especially when I see it makes you uncomfortable. Remember the time dads confronted that person ahead of us in the line at the airport? That was outrageous! And telling children to stay away is so sad. I get that maybe they don’t want to disturb you but still, children love to approach strangers! And I get you, I always hate when I understand people talking about me in a language I actually can understand or about me but I can actually hear them. And it must be so frustrating every time people don’t address you!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Yes, I remember when that happened. I was happy that daddy was strong enough to confront that person that was staring at me so horridly and tell him off. I’ve also heard you talk about occassions when you were able to hear people talking about you in another language so I know that you can relate.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  14. Thank you for sharing! I think this can be helpful to a lot of people. I had to look up the song Ridin too and it turns out that song came out when I was soooo young! I didn’t even know people still thought of it.

    The drawing Nicholle did of you looks fantastic! I’m also a fan of your afro (fellow afro girl myself). When I first went natural I had so many people just put their hands in my hair without even asking sometimes or just look at me like I had 10 heads. Im rambling now. Great post 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. You’re welcome! I hope that it does help a lot of people. Oooh, you can definitley relate to the struggles of people touching natural afro hair then. It’s so rude that they did that to you! And I’ve seen you with your afro – you look like a queen, so they had no reason to stare at you like you were strange. I’m glad that you could relate, being an afro girl is not as easy as it looks ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Thank you! In the last picture, my hair is red at the bottom. I LOVE multi-coloured hair so, if it’s not in a natural style, I’m always rolling around with some sort of bright colour in it. I’ve had it white, blue, purple, blonde, brown, and red. And red is actually my favourite colour.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  19. I learnt so much from this post! I can relate to people asking where you’re from. I’m bi-racial and it’s very common for taxi cab drivers to ask, “where are you from?” When I say, “Toronto, Canada,” they emphasize the “from” as if that changes something. People can be so ignorant!

    I have heard many disabled people talk about the frustration of people not talking to them directly. You have your own agency and your own opinions. You should be able to decide for yourself what you want to do. I can only hope that these comments lessen in the future with more awareness!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I hope that they lessen too, that’s why I’m here 🙂 , to raise awareness. I’m sorry that you can relate to people asking where you’re from, most people have a very distinct idea of what they expect people of colour to be like – which is silly. It’s crazy that they think that you can’t just be from Toronto. We don’t all just come from the same place! Yes, it can be quite frustrating when I’m not addressed directly, but that’s one of the benefits of the internet. Here, my body doesn’t act as a barrier of communication between me and able-bodied people who are not familiar with disabilities so that I can give them advice from an OwnVoices perspective about how to properly treat us. I’m glad that you were able to learn a lot! Thank you for reading ❤

      Like

      Reply

  22. I know I got to this late but you are beautiful and unique and having a disability makes you YOU!
    Honestly, having a mental illness (two, actually. Yay) makes some simple things so hard for me, like walking away from a disagreement.
    I won’t say I can relate, but I have an idea of what you’re going through (or was going through) and I’m so glad you pulled through.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I understand, many people talk down mental conditions because they think that they’re not as serious as physical ones which is completely untrue – they can be just as hard to live with as a physical condition. So I understand why you have an idea of what I’m going though. Thank you SO much for calling me beautiful and unique! When you look different than most of the people around you it can be occassionaly difficult to appreciate yourself for the way that you are. So thanks! ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. That means a lot. It’s true, people think mental illnesses are not as big of a deal, maybe because you can’t see how it affects the person on the outside.
        I’m 11, and I still struggle with preschooler tantrums.
        And let me tell you, it’s hard, breaking down and crying and screaming because someone took my spot or wants the same thing as me. And embarrassing, too.

        Liked by 1 person

  23. I had a disabled friend once. She was very close to me but she used to sit in front and I was a backbencher. We couldnt able to talk much. Sometimes she feels blue and stay silent. I always wondered what will be going on inside her head. I’ve failed to understand. I didn’t know how to confort her when she was sad and always asked to help her.. not bcz I felt pity, just bcz she was best friend. I never understood what it must have felt to her. I still regret to this date!!

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I’ve learned many things!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. You’re welcome! And thank you for sharing a little bit aout yourself. You shouldn’t feel too upset about it, I assume that it was a long time ago and I can understand how sometimes communication can be difficult. Just know for the future that you sholdn’t feel afraid to confront a disabled person if they’re sad and that you can simply treat them like you would anyone else. I’m sure that you were a great friend ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  24. This is my first visit to your blog, and for what it’s worth, the first thing I noticed about you was your beautiful smile! The next thing that impressed me as I read was your mature, forgiving attitude toward others. You’re right, most people aren’t trying to hurt you. The vast majority of people don’t want to hurt others just to be hurting them, but many are too lazy to stop and think before blurting out the first ignorant thing that pops into their heads. (Please don’t ask me how I know this! … :/ )

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you! I’m happy my smile was the first thing that you noticed 🙂 I think that it’s important to have this kind of attitude when you’re disabled because you experience a lot of discrimination because of it and if you don’t seperate people’s actions from their intentions – it can become easy to be very bitter about the world. You’re right – most people aren’t trying to be rude. Oh no, it seems as if you may have experienced the same! Well, I wish you a great day and many more happy encounters with people who aren’t closed-minded ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  27. This post has been very helpful for the story my dad and I are writing where the main character is disabled. As an able-bodied person I want to represent the character realistically and respectfully. You consistently remind me everyone is human and communication with a person is the best course of action when you have a question.

    Thank you for sharing. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I understand why – those people have no right to judge you! People sometimes are just too quick to put people in boxes or or to speak to them like they’re a curiosity and not a person. I’m sorry that you’ve had to experience that.

      Like

      Reply
  32. Pingback: Found Ya Blog | Bloggers Interview| The Wheelchair Teen – A Writer's Deli
  33. Pingback: Introduction – The Wheelchair Teen

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s