Hey, guys! As promised, here is a little peek into some of the struggles I went through with my disability during my hiatus from my blog, as well as some sad news about one of my wheelchairs.
Wheelchair Blues
The sad news is that on Christmas Eve two men from the government came to take my electric wheelchair, Ruby Electromite, away. Iāve talked about Ruby before during my Fun Wheelchair Facts and Stories post (Fun Wheelchair Facts and Stories ā The Wheelchair Teen). Itās probably hard for someone whoās never had a wheelchair before to understand just how much they can mean to their owners. Not only did I have so many memories attached to Ruby, she was also synonymous with freedom for me; with the feeling of tearing down pathways at top speed with the wind in my hair while my mother struggled to keep up behind me, with the independence of traveling for miles without getting tired or having to stop, with exploring and being able to do so much more than I can in my other manual wheelchair. Itās difficult to describe just how much that wheelchair meant to me.
I cried when I heard that they were going to take her away and I cried a lot on the day they did it too (why did it have to be Christmas!). Iād had Ruby for seven long years. Luckily, my father kept a licence plate for me to remember her by. Although it was sad to say goodbye, that sadness soon turned to anger once the disability centre told me she shouldnāt have been taken away in the first place. Long story short, it was a formality that shouldnāt have been enacted. Without an electric wheelchair, I am unable to travel far from home to do things like visiting the library or going to the Language CafĆ© near where I live. It greatly restricts my freedom.
The disability centre phoned the government to see if my wheelchair could be given back to me but it was too late, they had already dismantled her ā¹ So Iāve had to be re-fitted for a new one and theyāre going to have to re-make all of the specific adjustments that were made for me on my old chair. The process to get a new wheelchair is a very long one but hopefully itāll be here in time for summer.
Getting Turned Away
The beginning of the year was extremely tough for me. I suffered from depression about two years ago and it felt like a relapse. Depression, obviously, is extremely serious and I desperately needed help.
The first psychologist I saw was recommended to me by my general practitioner. I sat down with her for a meeting and explained everything that I was going through and how much I truly needed help. She said that she doubted that she would be able to give me the psychological support I needed because she didnāt know anything about disabilities. I found this to be a little weird since none of the mental issues I had presented to her had anything to do with my disability ā but fair enough. She recommended a different psychologist to me and I sought them out instead.
The next psychologist had an internet entry form so I filled out the relevant form on their website explaining again what I was going through. I debated whether to mention the fact that I was disabled in the form but couldnāt see the harm in doing so. After a month, they responded with yet another rejection for the same reason ā my disability. Fine. This time I tried a psychologist who only supplied psychological help for disabled people. I had to wait another few weeks before the appointment. After a long, emotional chat with her, I discovered that she was a truly delightful woman. Unfortunately, she said that she didnāt think that she could provide me with the help that I needed because my mental problems werenāt enough to do with my disability.
This was the last straw for me. Three rejections from different psychologists in a row. All the while, my mental state was deteriorating further and further. I couldnāt take my own thoughts anymore, it felt as if I was reaching a peak and I didnāt know what would happen when I hit the top. I desperately needed help but no one would give it to me, I didnāt know where to turn or what to do. I felt truly helpless.
It seemed as if some of the professionals I visited couldnāt see past my disability and werenāt truly listening to the actual mental issues I was telling them that I was going through (made clear by the fact that I was turned away from a disability professional who said my problems didnāt have anything to do with it). When you have a disability, I think people often assume that must be part of your distress, and even if it is a little bit, you can still talk to me like Iām a normal person about it without having specifically studied disabled people. A little help wouldāve been better than no help. I was in an extremely dark place and it saddens me that the first two professionals I saw werenāt willing to help throw me a rope.
I never received the psychological support I needed. The kind disability professional I saw recommended someone else to me and is still checking up on me to make sure that I get the help I need. If I decide to sign up to see this other recommended psychologist, I honestly donāt know if Iād tell them that Iām disabled. Things have finally started to feel a little better though thanks to the support of my family and friends. Thank you also for all of the incredible support I received from my readers after my return to blogging last week. Every message and comment truly means so much. When was the last time you felt an emotional attachment to an object? I’d be interested to know in the comments below. See you next week!
The Wheelchair Teen 
That doesnāt sound so good my dear. Let us hope and pray that the new wheelchair you get would be even better and that God would put more empathy in the doctors.
When I had to sell my first car it was tough. Looked like I am giving a child away āŗļø
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Yes, I hope and pray that this new one will be even better and that it will come soon. I don’t think that the doctors understood why turning me away because of my disability was bad so I hope that they’ll realise that too. Thanks for the well-wishing and the support ā¤ I understand, one of my friends really likes their car. I don't think I can imagine them having to give it away. Cars really can seem like children! š
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šš¤
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You have the most beautiful smile that I have ever seen!
They took your wheelchair away? And three psychologists turned you away??? I want to YELL at those ignorant people. Grrrrrr!
You are amazing. I am inspired by you. I’m so glad you are writing again! ā¤ā¤ā¤
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Thank you so much for complimenting my smile! I used to feel self-concious about it because of the gap inbetween my teeth. I honestly felt too bewildered and sad to be angry, I think that unless someone explains why turning me away due to my disability was wrong, these people won’t realise how bad it was. I’m so glad my blog inspires you! Yours inspires me too – you’re such a strong person with rock-steady faith.
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Happy tears. You are so precious.
My daughter is a licensed therapist, in the state of Washington, USA. I know she would never turn anyone away for having a disability. I am so angry at the people who mistreated you so badly.
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A wheelchair is more than an object or a possession…It is an extension of a disabled person’s body. Having a chair taken away from you after seven years is outrageous! It is also outrageous that after taking it away from you was found to be a mistake, it took so long to replace the chair. Going from psychologist to psychologist is ridiculous! Disabled people’s mental health needs are not so very different than other people’s. Only the situation that caused the issues is different. What a system!
I remember my late husband struggling to get approval from his doctor for replacement of a worn-out wheelchair that kept breaking down and stranding him. Bureaucracy can be a real pain!
Hope the new chair comes soon and is wonderful! Enjoy it, and move forward with your life! You are a bright and talented person with your life in front of you. ā¤ ā¤ ā¤
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Due to your late husband, you must be able to understand better than most how much I loved that electric wheelchair. You’re right – she felt like an extension of my body. I am thankful for the systems put in place that allowed me to have a chair but sometimes they can be really annoying. I got fitted for a new chair in March and there’s still been no update. It’s not the disability centre’s fault though I think, they weren’t expecting to have to make me a new one all of a sudden. Exactly! My mind isn’t that different from anyone else’s! I think the idea of having a disabled client may scare some people. I’m sorry it took so long for your husband’s request for a replacement to be approved – there are so many hoops that people like us need to jump through to get our day-to-day necessities. Thank you, I’ll tell you when the new one arrives!
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Yes, I will look forward to hearing all about it! š
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Omg.
I am all but spitting fire when I read this. What a load of absolute crap.
Scandalous behaviour with regards to your wheelchair, what a bunch of complete idiots they must have working for them. Taking away your chair, I wonder why??
As for the shrinks?? One can only hope the dear people are suffering from some form of corona corosion??!@#
I really hope you can connect with a compassionate person who takes a complete holistic approach to a person. What absolute garbage, I am so sorry for the useless support you have been offered.
Depressed, I,d be bloody furious!!!
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Thank you for the support. I was angry too when all of it happened but I’m trying to be more positive about it and keep moving forward. I’m just grateful that I had a great family around me to help me out when I needed them, I’m still happy that I shared about these issues though because the next person that they reject might not have the same support that I did. I hope that I’ll be able to connect with someone compassionate too, I can only keep trying. Thank you so much for commenting ā¤
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I find it inexcusable to commit such an error as to take away one’s ability to be independent and emotionally healthy! Why even have a license to treat mental health issues if one isn’t going to practice to those in need? And government agencies are so inefficient!
You are a beautiful person, inside and out! Don’t you forget it! I hope you get the help and healing that you need soon!
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Thank you so much for these kind words ā¤ I think that the psychologists may have been scared that they wouldn't be experienced enough to provide someone with a disability with helpful support. They had good intentions, but their reasonings were rooted in ableism, probably without them realising. I was shocked that I had to go through it. I hope that I'll get the healing that I need sometime soon too. Aw, that's such a nice thing to say! I'll make sure to remind myself of that the next time that I feel low. ā¤
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The electric chair thing is UNBELIEVABLE! I don’t know why those people were tasked with taking it away, but doing it on Christmas Eve, for goodness’ sake? and only for them to realise there had been a mistake? Everyone above worded my sentiments about it better than I could, so I’ll leave it at that. But it’s an utter shame. I hope the new one is on its way!
As for the psychologists…I’m sure they all meant well, because they were probably afraid not to be equipped to deal with all your problems and to cause you harm, but…they could have tried at least? Luckily, you have an amazing family, but it shouldn’t be up to them alone – plus, not everyone has family, not to mention an amazing one. Again, I hope you find the help you need soon – and I’m glad that your blog is a lifeline for you. I know mine is for me, and I’m not dealing with what you’re dealing.
Keep up that sweet smile of yours!
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Thank you for stopping by, Roberta ā¤ You're definitely right about the psychologists, I'm sure that their intentions were in the right place. I guess it was just their failure to realise that their help wouldn't harm me because my depression didn't have anything to do with my disability that made me upset. But I can still see the situation from their perspective. Maybe if they knew that I'd been rejected before – they wouldn't have rejected me too. I think that they may have taken it away on Christmas Eve because a lot of Dutch people don't celebrate Christmas – they celebrate Sinterklaas which happens earlier in the month. It was still emotional for us though because we do celebrate it. I feel extremely grateful for the family I have – you're right, they're amazing. So are my followers though [like you š ]. Blogs can be great lifelines, if I could go back in time to the start of this year, I think I may have actually continued blogging despite what I was going through. I wouldn't post – but I'd still read other people's blogs and hear from them because it would've been great to hear from so many people as I do now.
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Aw I hate that you had to give up your wheelchair and that too on Christmas Eve. I wish people would be a bit more conscious before doing something as drastic as taking away something so close to a person. I hope your new wheelchair arrives soon and you love it just as much!ā¤ļø
It’s a shame about the psychologists. As you said, I wish they would indeed try to look past one’s disability and see how they could help in any way at all.
Thank you so much for staying strong and sharing your experiences! Your blog radiates so much positivity and talks about real life struggles creatively, it’s always a joy to stop by!
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Thank you, I hope that it arrives soon too. Hopefully lines of communication regarding things like taking a wheelchair away will also become a little clearer so the mistake doesn’t happen again. It is a shame, I’m so grateful that my family was there to support me when I needed them. It warms my heart that you enjoy stopping by so much ā¤ Sometimes I worry that my blog can be too negative when I talk about the tough personal experiences I go through, so it's a relief that you think that my blog is positive and creative. Thank you so much for the kind words!
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My pleasure!
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As a part-time pastor, I am saddened that psychologists told you they could not help you. Depression is depression no matter what the cause is. You are a precious person to God. I am glad you have a supportive family to confide in.
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Exactly, I wish that they had realised that ‘depression is depression no matter what the cause’ too. Thank you for the reminder that I’m precious to God. He’s definitely helping me to get through this. ā¤
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That is horrible!
Both having your wheelchair taken from you, and not getting the help you need. Awful!
I really hope you’ll get your new wheelchair soon. Well, soon-ish, I guess. It’s so stupid that these things have to take forever.
And those psychologists? Ugh! What’s wrong with them? They should get their heads out of their arses.
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Yeah, they usually do take a long time to get ready. The disability centre is being really supportive about it though so hopefully it’ll be soon. It was awful, I know that they had good intentions, but I was in a really dark place. Not everyone is surrounded by a family that can support them as well as mine has.
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I’m so sorry to hear about your experiences with losing Ruby and the experiences you’ve had getting support for your mental health, because of your physical health. Whilst the two can be linked, to treat the two as having a guaranteed connection is simply preposterous. Unfortunately, your experience with finding a psychologist is not unlike my experiences with finding work, and it does make you give up in the end. Have you thought to try keeping a journal? It’s something that I swear by and it has helped me so much. Even if you won’t get answers (psychologists have to sort of encourage you to work your own problems out, anyway), it can still help just to get your problems out. I keep meaning to write another journal entry, but life has been so busy lately that there just haven’t been enough hours in the day. Talking always helps an d don’t forget, you don’t get rainbows without the rain. Keep your chin up and keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to š
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You’re right, sometimes mental health and physical health can be linked. I think that the last time that I suffered from depression my disability had a lot to do with it. Not this time though. Exactly – they shouldn’t be treated like they have a guaranteed connection. I’m sorry that you struggled to find work, it’s crazy how many different ways disabled people are discriminated against. I’m trying to write more about my feelings and life, journal-writing can be a great way to deal with tough times. I’m also not that consistent with it I guess, thanks for reminding me to keep it up more. I’m definitely talking with people a lot more which has really been helping. ā¤ Thanks for the encouraging words, you're a great friend Helen.
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I’m totally incredulous about your wheelchair getting taken from you and the very unprofessional attitudes of mental health ‘experts’ who should know better…They should all be ashamed at the very least. I’m happy that you have a great supportive family, but even the best supportive family needs outside support, too!
Looks like all of us followers of yours are squarely in your corner.
š
To change subjects, what is: Oliebollen? It looks a cinnamon donut of some sort?
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I’m happy you asked š Oliebollen are a traditional Dutch snack. Their literal translation is: ‘balls of oil’. They’re basically deep-fried balls of oil which are crunchy on the outside and fluffy in the middle. They usually are around the size of a fist and come sprinkled in powdered sugar. Over here in the Netherlands, you don’t have to travel far before you come across a stand selling Oliebollen.
I do hope that the experts have learned the errors of their ways too. Yes, it’s been an incredible feeling reading through all of these supportive comments. It feels good to know that so many nice people (like you š ) stand with me in this issue.
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Yummy!
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Oh my gosh, thank goodness you have your family, because that was a lot to go through! In the US, your wheelchair Ruby being taken away mistakenly would inspire a lawsuit. I wish the therapists had been able to see you as a person who was in emotional pain and needed support. You are amazingly strong to have made it through these hard times!
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Thank you so much, Rebecca! They were tough times, so I’m incredibly grateful to my family. I wish the therapists had seen me that way too, I guess when you’re in a profession that deals with people’s serious emotions, people can be very scared of maybe doing the wrong thing. That’s why maybe for them it felt easier to just pass me on to someone else.
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I’m really impressed with your maturity in dealing with these challenges. I admire your resilience.
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Thank you ā¤
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It’s so terrible of them to take away your wheelchair, I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. I just pray you get it again soon, much better I hope. Your smile is so full of innocence and enthusiasm. Stay blessed and happy ā£ļø
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Thank you so much for the kind words, Samreen. They were tough things to go through, but like you said, I’m still trying to stay blessed and happy. I pray that I will get the new one soon too and that it will be even better š
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My pleasure entirely dearš hope you get it soon, stay blessed š¤
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It is terrible they took away your wheelchair, I feel outraged and sad on your behalf š”š. Big hugs š. I hope the new one will be ready sooner rather than later. It makes a lot of sense to me you had an emotional bond with Ruby and I am so sorry for your loss. I am so sorry you were treated so badly, by the government and by the psychologists. Especially when you need(ed) the help so badly. I am really glad your family and friends were there to support you. Yes, I form emotional attachments to objects too, I do it quite a lot. Big (digital) hugs, if there is anything I can do or if you ever want to chat, I’m here for you, please feel free to contact me. I don’t know how I missed your other post last week, I will go and check it out now.
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Thank you so much for all of the support GaiaAthena and for the virtual hugs. They feel just as nice as real ones š I’m glad you were able to understand my emotional bond to Ruby, sometimes people treat me like I’m crazy for caring so much about a wheelchair. I’m sorry I was treated badly too, but like you said, I’m also happy that my family was there to support me. Thanks for offering to chat, the next time that I feel low I know that I’ll have an incredible network of people who are there for me if I need them which is the best feeling in the world ā¤
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That was disheartening to hear. As much as it takes the courage to face it, it takes courage to speak it out too, your bravery and courage in the face of such a situation is commendable. Your stories all come out at the light at end of the tunnel, and even if it is just for a period of time I am certain you will always keep shining. If you need a ear, I will always lend you mine (:
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Thank you so much, this comment warmed my heart. I never even thought about how it might take courage to share about this, I’ve always thought automatically that I should share about situations like this so that they won’t happen to other people. It’s so nice to hear that. š Thanks for offering your ear to listen, I feel honoured to have a follower like you. ā¤
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You are so sweet Simone, and very considerate too! Thank you (: I am really honoured too, that I can read what a beautiful soul like yourself has to say, I am really grateful ā¤ Happy blogging!
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So glad you’re back love! I’m sorry to hear about your struggles with Ruby being taken away and struggling with depression. I was diagnosed with depression at fourteen and while I’m predominantly recovered and only have a regressive episode occasionally, I immediately feel thrust back into a helpless state. It becomes hard to imagine that I’ll ever do well again! I struggle to remember what happiness is. I didn’t know they could take your wheelchair away nor that a psychologist could refuse to see you for any reason other than conflict of interest etc.
Psychologists should be well versed in all issues. It shouldn’t matter what your depression is as a result of. Assuming that you feel the way you do because of your disability is very assumptive. You deserve so much better- what more can be said? Bias is never good because it clouds your vision and greatly so.
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Thanks for welcoming me back, I missed speaking with you and I really enjoy reading your posts š I’m sorry that you’ve also suffered from depression but I’m happy that you’re mostly recovered now. That’s very similar to how I felt – that feeling of helplessness and that feeling like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. You’re right, bias can make you live a very closed-minded life. I wish that those psychologists had been more well-versed on all issues, I think that if they had continued to speak with me a little longer, they would have found out that I’m not that different than any of their other clients.
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This is so horrible, the psychologists didn’t want to help??? How on the earth is this right?? God this just makes me angry
I will pray for your better mental well being
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Thank you so much for your prayers, they really mean a lot. ā¤ I can't believe that it was able to happen either. Hopefully people like them will read this post and understand why something like this is wrong.
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if any of those therapists had any sense, the only good reason they’d have turned you away would be because you have more to teach them than they have to teach you. so sorry about your wheelchair — I was raised by wolves, moving & not being allow to create many attachments, so regardless of whether I’ve been attached to a ‘thing’, am totally appalled by your electric wheelchair being taken away!!! so very sorry, dear — am truly heartened tho to see within this post that you are not taking any of this laying down — please press on for all our sakes. & btw, are you really a teen or a 55-year-old in disguise, given how mature & wise your posts are?
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XD I’m definitely still a teen, just a very curious one that loves learning and educating myself more about the world. Thank you so much Da-AL for these kind words, they truly touched my heart. True, I guess you don’t need to have been attached to something before to know how close I was to my wheelchair. Interesting, I had pretty much the opposite life – I’ve only really lived in the same place and don’t move around much. I do promise to press on and to not take anything lying down – that just wouldn’t be the Simone-way š
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& thank goodness for that Simone-way!
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That’s terrible. I hope you’re feeling gradually better! Some people are just so small minded, it makes me so mad! And I’m so sorry for the loss of dear Ruby, that must be terrible. But at least you’re back writing! I hope this blog can bring you help, joy and support again, and we’ll all be here for you!!
lots of love, Cassie xx
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Thanks for the love, Cassie š I have started feeling a lot better since I brought my blog back. Yes, people can sometimes unfortunately be quite small-minded, even if their intentions are in the right place. You’re right, it does feel good to be back writing again, my blog has always been a source of happiness and joy for me. Thank you so much for the support ā¤
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anytimeš
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It’s taking me all my effort to try to even think why they’d turn you away. But then humans will always be humans even qualified ones.
Thankfully, you’re better. Grateful to Jesus for keeping you steady and strong as well. You can always reach out to Him whenever you need help, He won’t turn you away.
I’m glad you’re back! I missed you and the education you give about disabilities as well. Thank you for being such a bright light. It is my prayer that you get better mentally. I also hope the new wheelchair comes soon so you can enjoy more freedom and hopefully tell us about it.
I look forward to reading your posts. Lots of love from here! š¤
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Thank you so much Temiloluwa for these uplifting words. I am starting to feel a lot better now. One of the reasons is that I went back to having my daily prayers and bible reading. He really has made a difference. It warms my heart to know that I was missed. I hope that I can continue to share that light and education with my followers for many more years to come. Thanks for all the love ā¤
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Thank God for you! Lots of love!
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I can’t imagine how hard this may be for you, so sorry to hear about your Ruby. It is so sad that you had to experience negativity from those that should provide you with psychological support, don’t let this stop you from continuing to reach out for psychological support. I am glad that you have your family and friends that you can reach out to and that you also have this space to express yourself. Thank you for sharing. Sending lots of best wishes your way.
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Thanks for the good wishes. It was difficult to experience, but I’m trying to take this advice and not let it put me off psychological support as a whole because I’m sure that I’ll still need it sometime in the future. I am glad that I had my family and friends too and my blog is also proving to be an encouraging source of support.
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It’s very brave of you to share this. The mental health system really sucks, I’m sure in a lot of countries. Unlike physical health, mental health has no specific shape or form, it’s basically abstract. And psychiatrists and psychologists just try to fit problems into preset molds, whether they fit or not. How shallow of them to think that disability is the only reason for not feeling mentally well. The despair is tremendous. I’m glad you have support of family and friends. Keep fighting! š
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Thank you for the kind words, Terveen. You’re right, mental health should be viewed as abstract. I wish that they had seen it that way. I’m happy that I had the support of my family and friends too. I’m surrounded by an incredible network of people and I feel very thankful for it. I promise to keep fighting ā¤
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Wow! You are one pretty girl! And hats of to you for going through this everyday!
And also thanks for filling out my form! And wow, I loved how you filled it! I havenāt said this to anyone but your form was very compassionate! It really was! I was smiling all this while reading your feedback! Thank you so much!
And donāt worry! We all are with you!
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Thank you so much Riya for the kind words and for calling me pretty ā¤ No worries, it was my pleasure to fill out your form! I'm glad that you liked my answers and that they made you smile. I really meant everything that I said, you're an incredible writer. It's so nice to hear these encouraging words. Thank you! š
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I didn’t know that psychologists could turn away patients! This is crazy! I have been suffering from anxiety for the past year and I haven’t met a therapist yet who I was comfortable opening up to. I am a huge introvert so I really need to be comfortable with someone to share my inner most thoughts and feelings with. I hope I find someone good soon and I hope you find someone good soon too. ā¤
I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY TOOK AWAY YOUR WHEELCHAIR!! I hope you new wheelchair comes in soon and that you grow to love it as much as you loved your old one. š
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I’m an introvert too so I can relate to not feeling comfortable sharing inner most thoughts with strangers. Seeing a psychologist is a big step because you probably have to put effort into seeing them a few times until you feel comfortable enough. I’ve never had that feeling either. I also hope that you and I will find someone good too. Don’t settle – keep searching until you’ve found someone who you really can see yourself connecting with. Thank you so much for visiting and commenting ā¤
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ššš¹
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I always thought my problems are overwhelming but I think after I read you, I can read myself more cautiously. And so you’re an inspiration literally.
I’m really sorry if sound unemphathetic but you dont need a psychologist, but try to build a community of people who are specially abled. When you find a community of like minded people, the depression gets divided and its effects are minimized.
Also my experience says if you dont have people around, find sarcasm, laugh for no reason, at small things, move your hands in the air, dance while sitting, sometimes escapism is itself a therapy.
My best wishes friend and remember we are together, always.
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Thank you so much for these encouraging words. You’re right, sometimes all we need are caring and likeminded people around us, and that’s how I was able to get by without a psychologist – thanks to the support of my incredible friends and family. Psychological support can also help but, like you said, sometimes all we need is to laugh, dance, excersize, and be surrounded by people who love us. Escapism definitely helps me through my day-to-day through reading and my imagination. Thanks for your best wishes, this comment made me smile š
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Wow!!!! what you’ve been through!!! ššā¤ļøā¤ļøš wow, this seems unbelievableā£ļø
so great to meet you and thank you for your visit. You are an inspirationā£ļøā£ļø
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You’re welcome, I truly enjoyed reading through your blog. It’s great to meet you too š It was a lot to go through, but I’m happy that I made it through the other end so that I can share my experience and hopefully make a difference when it comes to psychologists accepting more clients. ā¤
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I appreciate it and I’m glad to meet you too. I will look forward to reading more and yes, it can’t help but make a difference…your heart is in the right place and we need more of that!šš
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Much respect !
Enjoy your evening,
Rudi
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Thank you ā¤ I hope that you enjoy yours too!
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Thank you for sharing your experience of these services Simone, it can be quite comforting for those going through a similar struggle:) Mental health services can really take a toll on a person because often times we reach out for them when we are in dire need, and then the disappointment and rejection hurts even more. Sadly it does happen quite a lot, I ended up calling helplines for ‘chats’ because I couldn’t access support soon enough, but once you find the right help, it can be quite a relief. I really hope you do find it soon! I’ve felt strong emotional attachment to things people would normally throw away immediately, simply because it felt like I was throwing a piece of myself away, there’re memories attached to almost everything for me, even pencil sharpenings…if it sits around long enough. I hope your new wheelchair comes to you soon and it becomes just as homely as Ruby:)
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You’re right, mental health services can really take a toll on a person. I think that’s what happened to me – I would hang all of my hope on each new meeting with a psychologist because I was desperate and then it hurt even more when I was turned away. I’m sorry that you also couldn’t access support soon enough. Helplines are a creative solution, maybe I’ll do that too the next time I feel low and recieving psychological support is taking too long. I feel the same way about feeling emotional attachments to things. It’s the memories that can sometimes make something harder to throw away than it may seem. Thank you so much for these kind words, Gannu. I always enjoy speaking with you. ā¤
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Likewise Simone:)
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Oh my goodness, what trying times for you! Good to hear you have supportive friends & family to help. Many blessings are being sent your way, my new friend. š
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Yes, I felt very grateful for my supportive family and friends. They were trying times but I was able to face them thanks to them. Thank you for the blessings, I’m happy to have you as my new friend š
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OM… best wishes and blessings are always there for you!
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Thank you so much for these kind words ā¤
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This is saddening to read. I can only imagine the plight you have gone through when they took your Ruby. I am sorry you had to go through this. I am praying that you may soon find a new one soon which comforts you in all way! ā¤ļø
And about the psychiatrists who turned you away sighting that one reason…. I am thinking more that they need to get help or study further that mental health isn’t about the outer appearance. But you are a strong woman and you know the healing is inside you and I pray that you will be okie soon. Much love to you dear ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
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Thank you so much for this heart-warming comment ā¤ Very true, mental health is not about the outer appearance. I was truly shocked that those professionals didn't understand that. I was eventually able to find healing though – you're right, it came from inside me in the end. Thank you so much for praying that I'll get a new wheelchair and that I'll be okay soon. I pray for those things too. Much love to you too ā¤ ā¤ ā¤
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It makes me feel sad when i hear about your situation, i do hope that you once again have an electric wheelchair soon, i have been reading a few of your blog posts and i must say that you young lady are a very special talented writer, i find myself drawn to you story i wish you every happiness in the future, i look forward to reading more about you. Thank you so very much š
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Thank you so much for calling me a talented writer, I’m very happy that you’ve enjoyed reading some of my posts. Thanks for the wishes and I look forward to getting to know you more too by reading your blog as well. š I hope that I’ll have an electric wheelchair soon too, for now, my blog is a huge support while I wait for my long-distance freedom to return.
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It is hard to believe that a trained psychologist can turn anyone away who has a problem! The problem is not you my dear but those psychologists. I don’t think that they are professionals. God is able to give you the strength and to provide the help that you need.
I agree with Linda that you have a beautiful smile. My daughter has a gap in her teeth which I think is cute but she doesn’t like smiling because of it. I wish you the best. God bless you.
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I also used to not like smiling because of the gap inbetween my teeth either. That’s why it really makes my day to hear compliments like these from you and Linda. You’re definitely right, I’ve felt God much more in my life lately helping me and giving me new opportunities.
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Praise the Lord! Bless you.
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I sometimes feel weird commenting when you already know my thoughts on everything. It’s so frustrating that the wheelchair removal was a mistake and we have to go through the process all over again. And you know how outraged I was on your behalf because of the therapist situation. STILL AM
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XD It’s cool, I still really enjoy reading your comments š It is frustrating, but hopefully the new wheelchair gloves I bought will give me a little more freedom in being able to push my manual wheelchair further than usual. I’m still outraged too, although it has gone down a little thanks to you. Basically, when we started hanging out more was when I started to feel better. I really like when I can be friends with you ā¤
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Hey there! It has truly been wonderful to hear from you again. š And this will always be so. I am not a trained psychologist or councillor, and I hope you have close family and friends whom you trust to talk to even when it’s professional help that you think you require, but if you ever want to chat and feel up to it, flick me an email with whatever is on top of your mind.
Thank you for having the courage to share, and to encourage others to think honestly about their own wellbeing.
In answer to your question, one thing I was most attached to was a frisbee that a friend from Chicago gifted me during our trip to Cincinnati in 2018 for the World Club Championships. I had a rough time on the trip, struggling pretty hard with some of my own depression demons, and the frisbee was a reminder of one of the beautiful souls I had met even through this difficult journey. It was rough when I lost it, but now when I think about it I focus on the wonderful memories this friend gave me through their time and care.
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I’m so glad that you enjoy hearing from me š I do have close family and friends who were able to pull me through and I’m very grateful for their love and support. Aw, thank you so much for offering to lend me an ear if I need it. I do feel much better now, but if I ever feel like I’m struggling and just feel like having some companionship from a friend – I’ll definitely keep this in mind. Thank you so much ā¤ That frisbee sounds wonderful, I can understand why it felt so dear to you. I’m glad that you were in the company of beautiful souls during that time when you were struggling. I hope that you’ll have a wonderful evening, Hamish, your words helped to put a smile on my face āšš¼
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